How to Start the ‘Big’ Conversations About Aged Care, Retirement, and Succession Planning with Your Family
So, you want to bring up the “big stuff” with your family—topics like aged care, retirement, and what happens to everything you’ve built down the line. These aren’t exactly go-to topics for family brunch, but with a little preparation, they don’t have to be stressful either.
At Strategem Financial Services, we know that tackling these conversations can feel daunting, so we’re here to help make it a little easier—and even enjoyable!
So, let’s dive in with some easy, step-by-step tips on how to bring everyone to the table and start planning for a secure future together.
1. Find the Right Moment
Timing is everything when it comes to these types of conversations. No one wants to talk about retirement or succession planning in the middle of a busy family event or during the holiday rush. Instead, aim for a relaxed weekend coffee chat, a low-key family dinner, or maybe even a walk in the park. Creating a comfortable environment sets the stage for a thoughtful, low-pressure conversation.
2. Start with the Positives
Instead of diving right into the heavy stuff, kick things off with a positive note. Emphasise that this is about building a future and ensuring everyone is comfortable with what’s ahead. Try saying something like, “I want to make sure we’re all on the same page for the future, so we can keep enjoying life together without worrying about the ‘what ifs.’” This sets a positive tone and reassures everyone that it’s about planning, not problems.
3. Share Real-Life Stories (Without Getting Too Personal)
Personal examples can help break the ice without making anyone feel put on the spot. Mention a friend or a family acquaintance who recently went through retirement planning, set up aged care options, or passed on a family business. These relatable scenarios can open up the conversation and make these topics feel more approachable and realistic.
4. Ease Into Finances and Goals (Big Picture First, Details Later)
Money can be a sensitive topic, but it’s essential to discuss when planning for the future. Start by asking about everyone’s general dreams and goals—“What does a comfortable retirement look like to you?” or “How do you envision your legacy down the road?” Once people feel comfortable sharing, you can gradually bring up how finances play a role in making these dreams a reality. And if you want, this is where Strategem Financial Services can help guide you!
5. Respect Different Perspectives - Everyone’s Thoughts Matter
When it comes to family discussions, everyone may have different hopes, concerns, and ideas. Give each person the space to voice their thoughts, and be open to their perspectives, even if they’re unexpected. One person might be worried about healthcare, while another wants to preserve a family business legacy. Active listening shows that you’re there for each other—and that this is a collaborative effort.
6. Bring in the Succession Plan (and Explain Why It’s Helpful)
If you’re talking about succession, explain that planning isn’t about stepping on toes or making big changes now—it’s about ensuring a smooth transition when the time comes. This is especially helpful when talking about family businesses, property, or estate decisions. Framing it as a way to preserve family values and minimise stress down the line can make the conversation feel empowering rather than uncomfortable.
7. Take a “Let’s Review and Revisit” Approach
Planning is ongoing, not a one-time chat. Reassure your family that you don’t have to figure it all out in one go. Offer to revisit the topic every six months or annually. This way, everyone feels a bit more relaxed, knowing that these plans can evolve as life does.
8. Bring in the Experts
At Strategem Financial Services, we know these conversations are important, and we’re here to help you every step of the way. Our team can guide you through aged care, retirement planning, succession planning, and more, offering clarity, support, and insights tailored to your family’s unique needs. Sometimes an objective, experienced advisor can simplify discussions, ease tension, and help you see the big picture clearly.
→ A Case Study in “What Can Go Wrong”
When families avoid having the “big” conversations about aged care, retirement, and succession planning, the results can be devastating. Here’s a case study that highlights why these discussions are so crucial:
The Financial Fallout of Avoidance
The Daniel family was a close-knit group, but they always avoided discussing “uncomfortable” topics like aged care or estate planning. Sam Daniel, the family patriarch, ran a successful small business for over 40 years and had plans to retire soon. However, Sam never shared details about his business or finances with his children, believing he still had plenty of time to figure things out.
When Sam unexpectedly passed away, the family was left scrambling to manage the fallout:
No Will or Succession Plan
Sam hadn’t formalised a will or a succession plan for his business. The result? His children couldn’t agree on what to do with the company—should they sell it, hire an external manager, or try to run it themselves? The lack of clarity led to arguments and emotional strain among siblings.Tax Liabilities
Without proper estate planning, the family faced significant tax liabilities they hadn’t anticipated, forcing them to liquidate some of Sam’s assets at a loss to cover immediate expenses.Aged Care Uncertainty
Sam’s wife, Linda, had advancing health issues but no plan for future aged care. The family rushed to secure a place in a facility, missing out on government funding opportunities because they hadn’t prepared or applied in advance.
The Outcome
What could have been a smooth transition and a celebration of Sam’s legacy turned into months of stress, financial loss, and strained family relationships. The Daniel’s family realised too late that having those difficult conversations could have saved them from heartache and chaos.
Why These Conversations Need to Happen
Stories like the Daniel family’s remind us that planning for the future isn’t just about numbers—it’s about protecting relationships, ensuring financial stability, and honouring your legacy. These conversations may feel awkward at first, but they provide clarity, reduce uncertainty, and give families the tools to navigate difficult times with confidence.
DISCLAIMER
The case study provided is a fictional scenario based on common challenges families face when avoiding discussions about aged care, retirement, and succession planning. It is intended for illustrative purposes only and does not represent any specific individual, family, or client. For personalised advice tailored to your unique circumstances, please consult with a qualified financial advisor or aged care specialist.
Make It Meaningful - You’re Building a Stronger Family Future
These conversations might feel a little heavy at first, but they’re ultimately about something positive—supporting each other and planning for a future where everyone feels secure. By creating a thoughtful plan together, you’re strengthening family bonds and ensuring a legacy of care, trust, and confidence.
Ready to start the conversation? Let Strategem Financial Services be your partner in crafting a future you can all look forward to. We’re here to help make planning simple, supportive, and meaningful for you and your loved ones.
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